07 August 2008

++ HEALTH HAZARD: RAT SWARM ++

*****SECTOR WARNING*****
Sector N-UH-855 Enforcer Precinct 08, Marshal Turterra cmdg.

Threat Level: Moderate
Threat Direction: Sectors N-UH-853:854 to 855 [traveling uphive]
Threat Summary: Large swarms of Necromundan rats reported moving uphive fleeing fire in Sector N-UH-853

Citizens are hereby warned that large swarms of Necromundan rats have been reported in Sector 853 and 854, and are expected to continue through 855. Sector N-UH-853 reported a total plasma core failure within an algae processing plant at approximately 17:15 yesterday, with extensive fire damage and several uncontrolled blazes. Fire spread to a neighboring paint factory which housed improperly sealed containers (model GW-CB "flip tops" and GW-SW "twist tops", both recalled by Guild Edict- the plant has been fined 500 credits). The resulting explosion collapsed nearly a quarter of the sector and exposed a hidden rat hive-nest. The massive hive contained at least seven rat colonies with conservative estimates at around 1,000 rats total.

Rats should be considered extremely dangerous and killed on sight by legally sanctioned Enforcers of the Imperium. Citizens are ordered to avoid the rats and remain indoors until the threat passes. Citizens are reminded that Necromundan rats act as vectors for the "zombie plague" and that there is no known treatment or cure. Citizens with rat bites are required by law to report to a magistrate or Guilder for quarantine.

ADDENDUM, Marshal Turterra - While it is generally advised that citizens take all precautions to avoid contact with dangerous wildlife, Enforcer Precinct 08 is still experiencing a manpower shortage and is seeking healthy, strong men and women to report as part of Exterminatus teams. Weapons will be provided on a first-come first-served basis, but it is strongly encouraged that volunteers bring weapons and ammunition in sufficient supply to hunt several dozen rats.

*****END WARNING*****

+++++Paid Advertisement Follows+++++
Rats got you down? Lost your job to a factory fire? Remember, Friends- Uncle Benso pays Good Hard Credits for rat meat, so grab your stubber and bring 'em on in!

Benso's SecondHand Pizza: Always Hot... And Sometimes It's Even Fresh!
+++++End Advertisement+++++

2 comments:

  1. Benso's pizza tastes liek SUMP BLOCKAGE!!!1 I swear he ain't even trying anymore

    - "RaGGeD" Steev

    ReplyDelete
  2. Um, listen here, you - it IS sump blockage, sometimes. I never tried to hide that, you fragged idiot.

    Try our new Swarm Special, for a limited time only - Fresh Ratburger!

    - Uncle Benso, Benso's Second-Hand Pizza

    ReplyDelete

Search Here and Elsewhere